So is it a test? No. It is something I have been pondering for a while. It never really gives me anything, it just provides me with something to-do, but it apparently could cause some illness. What I hear you say! Like all the other things that might cause illness? Well I don’t know if they do or don’t. Just that I have avoided one substance the past 80 or so hours. At the same time though I do miss it, it was my always with friend. (Now that just sounds a bit psyco, but some people might understand what I mean.) I am gonna see how long I can mange to go without.
2009/04/13
2008/12/29
Post Christmas
So since I departed London on the 23rd I have had a good time. I am now back in London and in my local chatting with a friend.
Christmas was ok, spent a few days, well evenings chatting with my mum. Visited a few friends that I had not seen in 7 or so months.
I was invited to go clubbing by an old friend, to a night that I used to attend years ago. But the was in a different venue, a venue that I would link to chavs. Not that the night in question was full of chavs, just the venue and my memory of it. I felt old, but I did have a good dance. Which I had been missing for a while.
Spent the next day relaxing and chatting with various friends and their family before pub lunch followed by an evening on a friends boat. We chatted till 3am before a relaxing sleep on a boat on the river.
So we reach my last day in Norwich. Didn’t do a huge amount. Mainly just collect my stuff from my mums and a few pints before the train. Back to London.
As this post has remained on my Blackberry for the past two weeks I think it’s time to finish up and post it!
2008/12/22
I come to think upon my “style”
So I have been asking people what they think of my blog posts. An egoistic task really. I am not looking for a compliment when I ask such a question, more so to have a chance to see if the other person has understand as I have intended.
This is hardly ever the response, it generally falls in to the area that either: A. You missed all the detail out, it makes no sense. OR B. How can you write such personal stuff in a public forum.
Now I have answered both of these questions before. I always leave the detail out because I write about such personal things I believe it is only fair if the ones I write about can only be known if you are already aware of the scenario.
So that task has got me no closer to finding out if I write in a good style, because everyone sees past my style? Maybe that proofs the point I was asking? Does it?
PS. Writtin in “The White Lion” in Soho.
2008/12/08
Fun with friends
This weekend I had a good friend from Germany visiting. Had loads of fun. Went clubbing at indigO2 to some wicked DnB, the night was A.W.O.L. and some really good DJ’s. Met a few people that I had never met in real life before. Was really good to put faces to the names. Spent all of yesterday in my local, drinking, eating and chatting with friends. It was a nice and chilled day.
This evening I just saw a friend for a few hours, we had a good chat; we always do! Am currently on the tube… Next train now. And I need to stop myself feeling something. Cannot really say what as I don’t discuss everything here, but it’s been playing on me. I cause it all myself, I know… But it is better to be in chaos than boredom. (I think….with some uncertainty.)
2008/12/05
So now I have actally posted I can write again!
So it’s taken me 3 days to actually post my ramblings from this week. And boy has it been a little wierd. It has had both good and bad, well not bad just not so nice. I didn’t like how I had to be on Tuesday. But at the same time if I hadn’t it would be worse.
So to describe today, work has been ok; semi-productive. My evening hence has been walking, music, roll-ups, couple of bottles of cider and 10 miles of walking, in the rain. It’s really nice walking around streets and areas you know. The memories seem to come back and you feel nostalgic. I was liking it for certain. Hat helped, thanks for it, you.
I wander with work, I wander with life, I wander litterally. Am I supposed to settle?
I don’t think I am. I am supposed to wander and do as I do and talk to everyone and no-one at the same time.
2008/12/02
Prior to a meeting
Well I guess meeting is a generic term, more so a drink with someone I haven’t really spoken to in the last month or so. After three years it is weird not to have spoken in such a time. I do miss them and want us to be friends. Just I don’t know what to expect when we meet. I’m not scared, just in/with trepidation. I’ll come back to this.
So currently I sit on a bench just to the east of The Eye looking north before I catch the train south from Waterloo. There is a christmas market head east only the south bank just to my right, I walked through it on Sunday afternoon. Time to open that Organic Westons Cider…
Cider finished, now standing on a packed South West train heading to Clapham.
Back to the matter in hand. I am looking forward to seeing them just really don’t know what to expect. It will be a good chat though I’m sure. Ok I’m now getting thumb ache due to one hand CrackBerry usage in confined standing train space…
Quick pint before meeting. Sitting in The Duck, just about to go to The Goat. Damn pub names on this street… Who knows..
Just met, they have gone to get a drink. Weird, I smiled. I think it’s nice to see them. Better stop writing now the might come back…
Am now on the train to Victoria. Was good to see them. If a little taxing on my wits to a degree. Here at Victoria, so update from when I have a chance.
Just on the bus to Fulham, still a bit confused, the music is helping though. DJ Amnesty from the middle of October. A nice set. Still gotta get back to bus confusion.
So I have just the email well it was not in email style and it causes me to think differently. I didn’t realise such feelings were in the air. I mean I know I have appently been quick to deal with such a change. But I havn’t, I am still processing it all.
This post is obviously over a period of hours, start is around 18:35 and end is more 22:00 hours. (And I am late to post!)
2008/12/01
What is happening to me?
So as I have now had time to find myself a bit. I start to see myself differently. Who knows if it is any clearer. I feel strong, no confident, not ballsy, but able to face the world from the sense of a closer rooting to me. If that makes sense, well then I need medial attention.
So I have spent the evening chatting to someone I met through my ciggy breaks. Had a good old chat. I now find myself on the Central Line heading back to EB to have a cheeky pint with a friend. Loud DnB in my ears as usual. Currently Stunna’s Halloween set. It rocks.
(Me wonders if this is one of my worst posts ever…)
2008/11/26
Selfishness
I am by nature a hermit. Whenever I am I’ll, tired or generally just in that mood I tend to go into my personal cocoon. I don’t answer my phone or the door, I just tend to exist. Now I’ve been working from home the past two days due to being Ill and I was ignoring all the phone stuff and it seems I came across as ignoring on of my friends, well I wasn’t; in fact I was ignoring everyone.
Not sure if I should be going to work I’m still coughing like a crazy mad person…
Just at Acton Town, finally a seat, damn it’s cold. The again I might be weak due to illness and feeling the cold.
2008/11/21
Busy plans
Let us hope that the don’t fall through!
Tonight will be starting in my local for a few bevies, the meet a friend who’s on his way to Cambridge. Then into town for some late night drinking, dacin’ and chatting. Am heading to the Corenet in Elephant and Castle with some friends that I haven’t seen in a few months. I think it’s gonna be fun.
Oh and today work was busy, frustrating and a little chaotic. Thank silicon I’m not working this weekend, I’m sure it’s gonna be painful…
So nearly back to Ealing, time to make final arrangements…
2008/11/20
Post Sudo Moday
Head, ache, fuzz! Had a pleasureable evening at my local chatted to some randoms, I always do.
That sentance was written this morning on the way to work. I was fuzz then. I am now before fuzz, well I am on my way home post beer consumption but before the fuzz of tomorrow morning has occurred.
People are. I was going to say interesting but then realise two words describes it perfectly. We all observe this world from blinkered views, attempt to empathise but generally fail miserably. We try to understand, I tend to think that we can only understand something if we have expirenced something similar. Most of the time we fail. Not that I’m saying we don’t try, we do. The basis of this last paragraph of waffle is that I sent an email today attempting to partially resolve an issue. But it was slightly pointless, I can never understand the secenaro as the recipent can. Therefore they will never get the message I wanted to communicate. Well that is partially ‘language’ fault, due to the disparate nature of our thoughts versus how we can pick/choose the words to communicate what we are thinking. But maybe over time and different selections of sentances the message could be understood.